-by Drew Deener
Clearly with Lachlan’s show getting pre-empted almost every night, he’s got a lot of time on his hands. So much so, that he’s come up with the worst fu$&@$$# theory of all time. Lachlan doesn’t think Kyle Kuric, by the numbers, has developed over his career, and he bases this off of one statistical basis…stats per minute. Keep in mind, by this standard, a player who comes in the final minute of a game, hits a 3 and grabs a rebound has had a better game than the sap he checked in for who played the first 39 minutes and scored a measly 100 points while merely grabbing 30 rebounds (lazy-ass). So if you want to play this stupid fu$$@** game, lets play.
By Lach’s Logic, Michael Jordan never really developed…in fact he got worse in almost every statistical category from his rookie season to his MVP Season of 1998 when the Bulls won their 6th NBA Title. I don’t have time to come up with a color coded chart like Lachlan because my show is on every morning and every afternoon…so maybe when Lach’s next show is pre-empted (probably tonight), he can plug these numbers into his effing chart.
Rookie Year 1998 Season
points per minute - .74 .74
rebounds per minute - .17 .15
assists per minute - .15 .11
Steals per minute - .06 .04
FG% - 52% 47%
FT% - 85% 78%
3FG% - 17% 24%
So as anyone who watched Michael Jordan knows, he simply never got better as a basketball player. It was so sad to watch his miserable decline in shooting from the field and free throw line. Maybe if his airness had worked a little harder in the gym, he wouldn’t have taken so many steps back in rebounding, passing, and steals. He flatlined as a scorer and the only area of improvement in his game was a 7 percent increase in his 3 point percentage (total fluke). What a waste of talent. If only Phil Jackson could have gotten out of MJ what Doug Collins did, Jordan would have been something special…maybe even gotten a shoe contract or too. If Jackson hadn’t effed everything up, Jordan might really have developed into something special.
Sounds ridiculous…not to Lachlan McLean…because, as he told us, the only true way to measure a player is productivity per minute. We know Kyle was on pace to become a 100 percent free throw shooter his Freshman year (2 for 2…colored in red on Lachlan’s freaking pie chart or whatever the hell that is), until Pitino clearly messed that up.
Bite me Lachlan, now I know why everyone hates you.